Love and Intimacy - Charelle

Charelle Thomas a love and intimacy coach joins us to talk about how she helps people create the love life they've always wanted.

Love Nudge App https://5lovelanguages.com/resources/app

Charelle can be found https://www.charellethomas.com/
and on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/charelleethomas/
and on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWAMMVJlttJ0AIyOgitnMyA

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Angel Amy's Events https://www.myangelamy.com/events-and-courses/
Angel Amy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/angelamy1123/

Transcript

Unknown: 0:25

Hi, everyone. I'm Angela, Amy. And hi, I'm Lila. Today we have a very special guest. I'm so excited. We have Sherelle here Sherelle Thomas, and she is a love intimacy coach. So we're going to have a really fun conversation with Cheryl. And I'm just so excited to have you here, Cheryl. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to see where this conversation goes. All right, we are to Sherelle. Sure, well, why don't we start with you explaining exactly what you do? Yes. So my name is Terrell Thomas, I am a love and intimacy coach. I work with powerful success driven couples do individual sessions with men and women or couples, like I mentioned before, but basically what it is that I do is I help individuals and couples create the love life that they've always desired to have. But yet so many achieve. And I teach them how to do this by helping them build a deeper connection with their partner as well as by teaching mind blowing sexual techniques that will leave both them and their partner satisfied yet yearning for more. Oh, this sounds juicy. Within this, do you would we say that you help people step through their fear of vulnerability? Yes, and I love it, because of the gift that I have is kinda like, I get to take people in through the back door. Like they hear sex, they see sex, you know, when they come to me like, oh, you know, with the issue of like, my partner doesn't want to have sex as much as I do, or things have gotten boring and mundane. And yet, what people don't realize is like, usually, if there's an issue in your sex life, it stems from something outside of the bedroom. So with that being said, they come to me asking about help with sex and intimacy, and so on and so forth. But I get to tap into like my psychic abilities, I get to tap into the spiritual side, to get to the root of like, okay, what is going on? So, they come in with an open mind thinking, like, Oh, she's just gonna help me reach this goal. But again, like, I get to go in through the back door, and tap into what's not being said. So sometimes people will come to me with the intention of not being open and vulnerable. But then I get to be like, hey, there's something like boys. Yeah. Like, what's really going on? Like, what is this rooted in? Yeah, and that when I pinpoint that, that's where all the guards come down, like, Oh, shucks, she know about that. So let me just be vulnerable, let me just be open, I don't have to serve, you know, or say things at face value, I can give it all because she already know it. So that's kinda like how it is. Yeah, so you pretty much get, you know, it's probably starts some little more surface level with technical things. And then it starts to go a little deeper into it. So I know Cheryl, on a personal level, and Cheryl is very, very intuitive, and can really sense through that, you know, I say Clairsentience that knowing kind of knowing what's like really going on or who there's, there's something more thematic here. So we need to really get to the root of that. Do you find that women are more vulnerable in these sessions or men? Or does it does it not matter? Does does gender identity not matter? I think sometimes sometimes I'm trying to think and reflect back like women, it's a different energy that they lead from is more so like, Okay, I'm going to give you this and you helped me with this. But with me I have to peel back the layers with women with men that come into it with the energy of okay, I need your help, you know, and I'm just gonna give it all to you. So it is more vulnerability like with men, but it takes them a longer time to get to me. Like for women, they can see me they can hear about me they can reach out for help, like after following me or you know watching my work for A short period of time. And then with men, they need longer time. But once they come is like I'm gonna spill out everything and women, they'll come to me sooner. And I have to peel back the layers in order to for them to get to that state of vulnerability. Do you find that women make more connections with themselves? Is that it or demand? No. Okay, women, which I hate to say it, but it's more so pointing the blame? Or I'm in this predicament because of what somebody is not doing. Yeah, I find that with my clients to working with female and men. Yeah, keep going. Yeah. Does anyone start? Does everyone start at sex? Do they come to you? Because they say there's a problem in the bedroom? Pretty much. But I think that's because of that. Kind of think about like, what's the goal. So say you got to build a beautiful flag that every time you put this flag out in front of your restaurant, you're attracting, like hundreds of people, but you love this other flag. And when you put the other flag in front of your restaurant, half the people come. So with me, I promote and I market 6x x x x so people can come but once they get in the door that's when it's a different kind of like, I want to say like bait and switch because we do talk about six we do get to the bottom of it. But it's people have this, this fundamental interest in sex and it gets them through the door. When I talk about the other stuff. I was on a podcast recently. And he was like he asked about ways that he can, you know, have more sex with his wife. And I started naming him he was like, nobody wants to hear that. That's boring stuff. Because they want to hear the skill set lick here, stick here. But it's like, yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's more to it than that. I want to know what you told him. Do you remember? Yeah, I was telling him that foreplay starts as soon as he wake up in the morning, he know he want to get intimate with his wife. Like he needs to feel that emotional tank before he actually before they get to the bedroom. You know, you wake up in the morning and give her a kiss on the forehead, like build that connection. Talk to her throughout the day, touch on a smaller part back, find out what's our love language, do different things that will fill that tank to the point where she's ready. You know, they don't, man have a hard time understanding the concept that we need those little things in those little things open us up to this sexual Goddess that they want us to be. Otherwise it's harder to tap into it. Like we're thinking about work. We're thinking about school, we're thinking about kids, we're thinking about all of these things, but with men is tunnel vision. Once they think about sex, they focus on sticks. But our brains are not set up that way. So I was giving him different things that he can do outside of the bedroom. And as you can see, he wasn't interested. I'm with a big foreplay, man. I'm gonna share that. Mine got the memo? Definitely since the day I met him that he's interested in that. And I think that helps for sure. For us. I do agree with that. Yeah. And so yeah, I don't know where we go from here. Marielle we need scenarios playing out the difference, right, your emotional tank is full. You got the foreplay, you get that. But imagine not having that not having that connection. And you are built in a business you're taking all your clients you're taking care of say you have like three or four kids. Like let's just use the average scenario, you work a corporate job nine to five, so you're busy from like six in the morning, up until like six at night, then you come home you got to deal with with meals and all of that good stuff. There's no emotional fulfillment, there's no connection with your partner, and you open the bedroom door and he's laying there in the bed naked with the pain. Like, that's hard. Like, how would you feel may not be the norm. I'm just gonna write so I be like, like, Yeah, let's, I'm in I'm in Sure I'll, I'm in. But that you say that because your tank is full. Imagine and depleted. Would that be in the forefront of your mind? No, probably most likely not. And I'm sure you help couples talk about it. Like it's crazy how like you could sleep with someone for like a long time. Yet they're they're not talking about their feelings to do with sex. And then a third person a beautiful whole lecture hall comes along. And then it just helps mediate it a little bit easier. And I think it's just when a different energy is in the conversation, it just kind of helps get to that root of that problem. And it helps deepen the connection a little bit more. Or I'm sure a couple say, I didn't really know you felt that way. Yeah, I didn't know I liked that. Or you need that. Right. Yep. I had a recent experience with a couple and it kinda like shook me. And I'm, like, really got like, did you really have to show me this because, you know, it was a couple and the way that I set up, I work with individuals, and then we come together, because I want to create this safe and vulnerable space. Sometimes when the couples come together, they feel like they have to hold back, you know, and they can't really be true, because they don't want to hurt feelings, which is understandable. But I felt like that's the way that it should be. So let's navigate, because just because you have these thoughts and feelings doesn't make them accurate. And it doesn't make it true. But if you share it with me, I we can help get to the bottom of it. So recently working with this couple, the man and the woman, they came because she was in this scenario that I just named work and building her business, taking care of the kids, so on and so forth. So sex was the first thing that come off the table, you know, like I'm tired, you know, I really don't want to I want to be close to my partner, but I got so much other stuff going on that I just can't. So they hired me, I was having a conversation with him and his to his it's just like, I just want to know what I need to do in order to build that connection again with my wife. So I'm like, okay, like, give me the answer. Because I don't speak from statistics. I don't speak from processes, like I received divine guidance. When I give an interesting, the husband, he wanted to find it for me. So I'm like, Okay, give me his guidance, you know, telling them, okay, this is one, you know, this is what you need to do this is to this is what you need to do I get to the third one. And I'm like, You gotta be kidding me. Like, I do not want to say that at all. Because this is one of those things where the message that I received was spicy, right? Something was going on behind the scenes, he didn't disclose this to me. So now I have to call them out and say, like, Hey, I see there somebody else in the picture, I hate this. And I've had to do it, too. It was like, come on, you gotta be real. So I told him, I said, I said, let's let's reconvene this something spicy came up for you, I need to go work out, you know, and then I'll come back and share with you, but other steps that you need to take. But the reason why I share that like, even though it was hard, and it was just like really like, I do not want to tell this man, I see that he has somebody else in the picture. But I did. Because I know, the weight of their marriage, you know, is dependent on it. So I told him like, you know, I, you have to be real, you have to be real with yourself. And you have to get to the bottom of this. But I see there's either somebody else in the picture or somebody that you want to be in the picture. And you have to be real with yourself. It's not telling me exactly like what was done or what you're doing behind the scenes. But you have to be real with yourself, if you really want to resolve things within your marriage. And it's okay, we're human. If you are designer and somebody else that's understandable, you're missing out in your relationship. You've been in this relationship for 15 years. And now all of a sudden, it's something that you're used to getting, you're not getting any more so the brain is going to present it to you like this is an option. This is your answer. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to take that route. But you do have to understand why it does look tasteful, to go that route. And that's what we've worked through. But that was one of those things where it was like hard to hear and I had to communicate it with him. And then coming back around and bringing the wife into the picture and having the hard conversation but you have to ask him this is the same thing I told him like either you you have to look at what you're gaining on the other side of the hard conversation if you contain you, which a lot of people do put in it brushing it up under the rug acting as if it doesn't exist, then what actually happens instead of it being dust under the rug, it creates this mop that just stops everything. So yeah, that was my long winded story. Around if you're using is it of psychic gifts that you have a connection gift that you have. How did you decide that this was the way that you wanted to use Use it. It was love goddess. Love God. I just curious how you landed on that, if you were, you know, or what your experience was figuring out that you were psychic, how that led you to a love and intimacy? Coach? That's a great question. I felt like I was actually in the loving intimacy coach, before I really. And I would end directly like tap into it. But Amy, Amy helps me, she helped me really get to the bottom of learning how but it was one of those things where, say, I worked at a restaurant, you know, and they hired me as a cook. And I'm doing this cook. But then I realized I got this special ingredient that if I put it on my food that it just make it taste high command. This spices, all of my food. And that's kind of what it was. It wasn't like, Okay, I have a psychic ability, let me use it. Let me tap into it this way. I was already in the love and intimacy coaching. And then working, working working. And yeah, so we actually met in Seattle, Washington at a networking in a networking group. And I was very, very drawn to Sherelle. And I thought what she does is so interesting, and so brave. And then, you know, talking with you, I'm like, Oh, she's like, so like you as a person, you're so authentic and so real, which you and I have had these intimate conversations about where that stems from within both of us. We both come from very humble beginnings. And we have connected on that. And what I what resonates for me with Sherelle is that you call people out on their bullshit. And you know, I do too. And we're both very nice about it. And you just explain that through that last story. Like when the Spirit Guides start talking about when Spirit starts talking about, there's someone else in the relationship? I mean, we know that someone else in the relationship, right. And so I love that about you. But so just to give my little take on like, Lila, his question is that as all of us whether we're a dentist, whether we are a lawyer, whether we are a car salesman, or a repair man, or woman, we are connecting to people, and the more you master your own human job, you form a deeper, energetic connection with your soul. And as you make that connection with your soul, that is when your intuitive and psychic gifts start to blossom, kind of like lotus flower when the lotus flower is closed. And you just do it a little more and a little more and make more connections and, and that beautiful lotus flower blooms. And that's what happened with Sherelle. Right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was keep going. Yeah, I was just gonna say I didn't even realize I felt like, I've been doing this for about like, five years. But sometimes, I didn't realize like, how powerful and like how strong it was up until like, recently, I booked like a whole bunch of like, private sessions with clients. And when I would take them to this process, I started filling it in my body. Like they couldn't even verbalize and pinpoint what is stem, you know, from like, I would ask a question, like, Where was the first time that you experienced this feeling before? They'll be like, I don't know. And then I'll be like, okay, like, how do you want me to help? And I would start filling it in my body. I know like, I had a client who just to be you know, not not trying to be too well vulgar, but I could feel like darkness around the sacral chakra and like her and like pain and just like dark and like rough and like all of this and and then I just started to feel it like within my body of like, what it stem from so so at first I saw that piece and then I can see like somebody taking it you know, like like being rough with it and abusing it and so on and so forth. And even though she couldn't answer what is stem from like it was shown to me and then we got to dissect it that that way, and that's where the healing actually came from. But I share that to say like, it wasn't until recently, probably like a couple of months ago where I was able to connect the dots like, this is what I've been doing, you know, and this is how I'm really able to help people. I had one client, where I actually had to get off the phone with her and tell her okay, like, you just take it like go to your guides go to God, like see what it is that came up for you. But she had this, this crippling feeling of like, not being open with her partner, not being able to communicate like just being closed off. Like she wanted it. She wanted the relationship, but there was something that kept causing her to fall back and like to close off and the vision I came away with, so I like being in school, and her standing in the hallway, feeling crying and looking around and like nobody's there. But everybody's pointing the blame, like the energy is like all pointing the blame on her and come to find out like we walked away from the conversation on soda. We'll reconvene next week. But she had actually had a friend that punched her in her back because of a rumor that he heard and it was somebody that she had a crush on. And she had an asthma attack in front of everybody. Like, that's how hard it was. And she had kind of like, forgot about it. But all of that I'm like, dang, like this powerful, like, thank you God, like I wouldn't have never thought that I had the ability to see those type of things. So by utilizing your mastering your superpower, I love it. And it's just expanding like the more humans you work with. And you just grow, you lean more into it, and trusted and it's, you know, I've seen you in action, and it's like, really on the money. And it's so beautiful. I'm so happy you are using your God given gifts in this lifetime. Thanks. Yeah. When you're with a couple that identifies as female and male. Do you ever talk about the love languages? Oh, yeah. All the time. I love the love languages. Let's talk about them. So yeah, let tell me which one if I leave one out. I know there's five. So there's words of affirmation. There's physical touch. There's quality time. There's acts of service and there's gift giving. Yeah, I've never heard of acts of service. Oh, that's my husband's number one. Strip beds right before I left. While he was working his nine to five and he's training Romania know why he stripped those beds. Wait, is that his love language or yours? Hell no. That is not mine. Mine. Mine is words of affirmation. I mean, I'm a professional talker. I'm losing my voice right now. So that's mine. I will tell him how handsome he is. And I do all the fields all the words. Most humans have one that's very strong. Is this correct? Sure. All. And then a second one that's usually up there. Yeah, and most partners don't have the same to know, which is very interesting. Lila, are you searching my love? No, no, I'm slightly confused. Because I guess I misinterpreted how love languages are used. So I would think like, your love language is what Andy would be doing to connect with you. So like, so you're so the acts of service, although he's doing them, that's what speaks to you. Is that wrong? And I backwards? No, you have it like that's what it is. But as humans, we tend to lead with what we want. So although her love language is words of affirmation, he wants the acts of service. So that's how we're conditioned to give love because that's the best way that we want to receive love is not to say everybody go out and do it. But that's just to say like, that's how things typically are in a relationship. And that's why I start with learning your partner's love language because you want to learn what's important to them to give that to them. So we give them love how you desire on the money. So we call Andy send a rally. He does everything. And so I'm like, you know call on my honey bunny and you're the best and all the words, but really like when I jump in and I'm Make dinner and I scrub toilets. Because he does so much of that. He that's that's me, giving him some of his love language, meeting him at his love language. And what he struggles with is like I want you know, of course want to hear that I'm beautiful. And so he struggles with the words, but he would run to the grocery store for me and do any of that. So just as Angel Amy, I've, I've made a commitment to my marriage that every time my husband is stripping a bed or cleaning a toilet, that's him saying You are beautiful. And it doesn't mean he doesn't try. But for me that that's enough for me. And I, oh, thank you. I choose to look at it that way. So I say to him when I tell you how handsome you are, you know, my second love language is personal touch, which most men love that. He knows that that's me. cooking dinner and doing all those things that most women do. But my little Cinderella does a lot of it. So I thought I would just touch upon the love languages because it will help people. Yeah, and one thing I want to add that I always encourage my clients to do is to download the love nudge app is L O V E, N u, d, g. And it's something for both you and your partner to download. But what it actually does is it communicate like you you fill out the quiz and the love language quiz. And it'll tell you what your top two are. And then what this app actually does is like say, say Amy, like, you need that words of affirmation, like, say you didn't condition yourself to see him making his bed as though so instead of you, yearning for that app can actually communicate with your partner and say like, Hey, her love tank is good. Oh, you need to fill it up. And it'll alert them right on their phone. And it'll tell them specifically what to do. Compliment Amy on what she's running home with. I just had to say the one thing you know how people are always like, you know, oh, well, if you tell me you want to hear it, it won't be as sincere. And if you're waiting to hear it, you're like, I don't care if I had to tell you. Right, yeah. Yeah. So I love that. Yeah. And it's just great. And you don't know if the alert is coming from your partner, or from the suggested app, you know, but it's, it's just this conscious thing of helping you understand how to give love in a way that your partner can receive it and appreciate it. Like they even have like call to save the night or give them a kiss or buy him a gift, like all of those different things. And it takes the weight off. Like why not? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love that. And I believe in like flipping like, gender roles and expectations. And like what I mean by that is like, I'm, as a woman, I'm not afraid to be alpha. In my relationship with my man, where I just took him out on a date. I took my Cinderella out on a date. And he loved it. And I'm like, this is all about you. And I know in a heartbeat he would do that for me. But I he he was just like loving that. That was over this weekend. Do you ever flip the script? On Peter? No. shirt? Oh. Yeah, just be like, you know, this is special for you. Yeah. And I think it also not only does it help with the connection with our partner, but it also switches things up. It's a benefit for ourselves. Like it helps create that new neural pathway to spice things up. Because if we're doing the same thing over and over and over again, for our partner, it becomes mundane, but if we switch it up with the script, like I'm gonna pull out all the stops for you. Not only does it benefit them, but it also helps with with your brain as well. Yeah. I you know, I teach a lot about unpredictable equals unsafe. But the flip side is unpredictable equals adventurous. And I love when my man is unpredictable. Like I love it. Do a lot of women tell you that? No, actually conversation adventurous, like, just being intimate and random spots are so sad. Yeah, like sometimes I'm like, Oh, this is so random. But and then I just lean into it. And I'll say, Oh, this is happening right now. All right, so I, you know, I'm gonna really put myself out there and tell you all that I learned something new. And this is what I learned that's new, is that we know that vibrators can spice up the bedroom. And we also know that vibrators can spice up your relationship and your intimacy. And they they, whoever they are, invented a vibrator for women after they go through menopause, because I didn't realize that like that our what's the word, the way we're structured shifts and changes, like after you go through menopause. So there is a specific vibrator. I think the way it's shaped because our bodies are not shaped the same. You know, pre menopause and then post menopause. And I thought that was fascinating. I actually listened to a podcast and I learned that. And then I also learned that like 90 year olds have sex like whereby Ben? Sure. I thought it was gonna go away. And I'm like, so excited. I told my husband, like, we can like go the distance, it might just change and evolve of what we do. But it's very intimate. Loving, with my wigs on. Yeah, I mean, these are just little things I've learned. You know, two things to speak on that one. In regards to the age, one of the things that I've noticed is that like, after a certain age range, the table turns like, in the beginning, the man is more like sex heavy and want to have it but then in the woman is more like reserved, but then eventually, like it flips in the woman wanting more, and the man is more reserved, like with age. But another thing in regards to like the vibrators and stuff like that, I feel like I'm scarred because I went to a six story yesterday for reach search, and 1000s of vibrators and deal the holes and everything like everywhere. And then like I've been to six stores before but not with the mindset of like, okay, I'm doing extensive research. What is this made out of like, what does this do? How powerful is it? How strong what does this suck? What does this like all those different things? Some of the things that I saw, and she does everybody oh my god, he bought a five out of five. I was like, what do people do with this? And I was asking the guy like, What is this for you? Clean it. It was very disturbing. It was and I just had to know. Okay, so listen, in the state of Massachusetts, sorry, in the state of New Hampshire. So I do live on. I live in Massachusetts. Sure. I'll as you know, but I'm on the New Hampshire border. In the state of New Hampshire. They sell vibrators in the drugstores like CVS and Walgreens. How do they do that? Because Sure, sure, they sell them there. But is there like a law that keeps them from doing it in other states? I don't know. I haven't researched it yet. This is the first time I've told anybody to just stumble into the CVS and saw them actually my friend. She posted on Facebook about it. She says I she I live in she lives in the state of New Hampshire and she said I just walked through Walgreens and there are vibrators. And has anybody else had this experience? Walgreens, I don't really have an opinion or just I mean condoms are there and you know and other you know, I'm okay about it. I'm very open minded. Yeah, right. Totally. Whatever convenient. That's not coming from Amazon, right? Yeah. So are there like a couple of topics that people generally come to you about? Okay, yes, yes, but I want to respond to a me No, it was you who asked like are there laws against it? I know in Texas like a female cannot own more than six sex toy what? Well that's Texas listeners what's the seventh day you rest yeah and for the record Cheryl does not live in Texas but I love to you know this I do not write bizarre Yeah, so that's that but it's it's weird things and yeah, there is a lot like comment or make during in the stores and stuff like that. We have them here in Walmart and CVS and Walgreens and stuff like that and I'm Illinois. So it's common to see now but they started off like with the vibrating pod mills and then it went to the fat grains. And then it went to this and that. And now I'm like, Oh my gosh, they don't have a whole section like on it. Yeah. So that's the topics that they come to me for learning fellatio. Like, that's, that's common for women to come in regards to that. Another one, which I don't know if you guys have heard of it or not, but gripping. That's another one that I get a lot of clients in regards to, but the biggest thing is like, my partner don't want to have sex as much as I do. Like, okay, something like that, like some type of disconnect. But they start there, but then go into a hole goes into a healing session with Terrell. Yeah. So so with the first two, is it like technique? Oh, that's exactly. But again, like, like I had a private fellatio session with the client. And she came to learn how to do you know, given amazing bow job. Before we get to that we had to do the healing stuff first. And it was one of those things that came up like she was holding back within her relationship because of fears that she had experienced, you know, outside of the bedroom as long as all four so that was one of those things, too. Yeah. And I think it's so like, you do such beautiful work. Thank you. And I think you could get very misunderstood. Yeah, sex is like is like, we're all doing it. And if you're not, you should be like you're missing out. Exactly. Like an adult's natural cure to everything depression, like you know, exercise like all of the you can use sex. There's so many different benefits, high blood pressure, all of that good stuff manifestation. Oh my gosh, orgasmic medicalization. Anything. Yeah, I believe in that. And I do because it's a release. And like, you're, you're releasing energy from your body. So listen, everybody, you poop. And it's a release. We're gonna talk about that. And you know, when you have an orgasm, it's, it's a release. And that's its energy. And that's, you were built to do it. Yeah, yeah. And the euphoric release in a white release Euro. euphoric, like good work. Yeah. This was great. So how do people find you Sherelle they can find me on Instagram. At Sherelle. Ie Thomas. That's my handle is CHARELLETHO M A S. You can also find me a Sherelle thomas.com, which is my website. And then YouTube. I am also Sherelle Thomas as well. Great. Thank you so much, Terrell. Thank you guys for having me. It was such a pleasure and your listeners for tuning in. I hope to see you on my side. Yeah, you're Sherelle. And thank you everyone. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast. And if you would take a minute to rate it. We would appreciate it we can be found everywhere podcast. And we are on Instagram at spill the ginger tea podcast. So if you have any questions or comments or thoughts, just send us a message there. You can follow me at Angel ami 1123 on all social media platforms, and you can find me at my angel ami.com If you'd like to schedule a session or see what kind of events I have currently going on. Did you know you can support our podcast through buy me a coffee. This will help us expand our mission to bring healing to the world. There's a support the show link in the show notes of each episode. Thank you, everyone. We appreciate the support. Be well.