Polyvagal Theory - Ruby Rose Fox/MuscleMusic App

Ruby Rose Fox, musician, performer, nervous system coach and creator of the MuscleMusic app, joins us to discuss Polyvagal Theory and how she uses it to coach performers. She has helped performers improve their nervous system resilience so they can perform their best and feel calm and confident in their body.
We experience a key point of her teaching "the show doesn't have to go on" when Angel Amy excuses herself for feeling sick. We all learn that taking care of ourselves is crucial.
MuscleMusic app, the first trauma-informed performance and fitness app for creatives is available for for $5 a month, on both Apple and Android.

Ruby can be found at https://www.muscle-music.com/

Spill the Ginger Tea Instagram https://www.instagram.com/spillthegingerteapodcast/

Angel Amy Instagram: https://www.myangelamy.com/
Angel VIP Club at https://www.myangelamy.com/aligning-with-the-angels/

Transcript

Unknown: 0:26

Hi, I'm Angel, Amy. And hi, I'm Lila. So today we have a guest, Ruby Rose Fox. And she is a singer songwriter performer. She has a background in acting. She's also a writer. And she has even performed at a TED talk, which is super, super amazing. And today we are going to learn about her program, which is also an app called muscle music. So thank you so much for being here, Ruby. Thanks for having me. So excited to talk to you. So Lila actually found you on Instagram. And we were talking about that I had been attracting some actresses. And as Angel Amy with life coaching, and Lila said, that's crazy. I just found this woman right, Lila Yep. Yep. And I thought like how, you know, I, what I saw was, you know, through your the release of your app. And I thought like, oh, my gosh, that's so amazing that you would do that. So I guess we should start out a little bit, if you would tell us about the app? Sure. Well, it's funny, we've been talking about acting, because it's actually what was missing in my acting education at Emerson College, studying, studying to be a professional actress that I think most led me to making the app being a singer songwriter did as well, but teaching singer songwriters and actors, that it's okay to stop, the show doesn't have to go on, to heal some of their trauma related to the arts. And to focus them on actually enjoying their careers. And that the measure of success is really feeling good in your body every day and loving what you do. Instead of, I have to make it or I have to be famous. So muscle music is an app for all performers, and really all artists who want to focus on their nervous system, restoring their nervous system, learning about their nervous system, and just having a healthier relationship to their craft. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, I find that people just forget that actresses and actors are real people, and that they have feelings and an emotional component, and also triggers, right. So you know, actors and actresses are able to lean into certain characters, but also they are put into very unique situations that can be quite triggering. And so it's great to have tools in your toolbox to be able to handle those situations. Absolutely. And what is unfortunate is that those tools are still not in professional acting training programs. Wow. Not even close. And many are not even interested in it because the teachers were abused and told to bypass their body. So yeah, so it's a new science, it's actually the science is just being incorporated into trauma therapy, which is becoming revolutionary in terms of healing. So it's new information, new tools, and I'm just taking those tools and applying it to performing. So great. So I think, I guess like the assumption most people would probably have is that if you decided to be any sort of performer that you would have no nerves around it, right? Somehow you it wouldn't miraculous? Exactly. And I can see people saying, Oh, well, if you get that nervous, it's just not for you. Right? Like, then you should find something else to do versus the idea that of course, it would be or should be nervous getting up and standing in front of either even, you know, three or four people sitting at a desk, you know, right, right. And it can change in a lifetime. I just interviewed the head of Brandeis. And she, she recently had a bout of stage fright that came on later in life that she had really never experienced before and it came out of nowhere. So even in the life of a performer, they can have different relationships to anxiety, stage fright, depression, that can really affect your career and life. And, I mean, the biggest thing is just normalizing it right and normalizing that we have bodies We're in bodies surprise. Yeah. Right. Right. Will you tell us a little bit more about your background? Yeah. So, um, I, again, I trained as a theatre artist, and also trained as a with Deb Dana, in polyvagal theory. So I also have a trauma informed background there. But I've been a singer, songwriter performer for about a decade, making a living doing pretty much exclusively that before the pandemic hit. And so I was sort of like, burning myself out working myself, you know, day and night to just make a living as a performing artist. Yeah, and I've done multimedia shows, I've made two full length records. Yeah, I've done a lot of self producing. So when I first started out, I sort of had a theatrical mindset about being a musician and wanted to put on a show. So I produced my own shows, which actually really helped me because I wasn't waiting for anyone to hire me. I was like, I'm doing my own thing. So yeah, and definitely, this was all in Boston, Massachusetts, and definitely had a very strong stance as a intersectional, feminist, and as a voice for other women who were perhaps struggling in the music business. So. So then did you develop like a set of tools that you found you were using in order to perform yourself? Yeah, well, so I always felt like I had more tools than others. Because of my acting training. I knew how to create presence on stage, I knew how to create Charisma on stage. But the missing piece was, that actually came from me coaching a bunch of traumatized women, who if they struggled, like, it was different teaching someone who had trauma in their body than it was teaching someone who didn't. There wasn't like a block there. And even though I was doing teaching very casually, at that point, I still had this need, I was like, I want to know, something's happening here. And I want to know more, I want to be able to help them better. And coincidentally, I have now a good friend, Jenny, not who I've done workshops with, wanted to just meet and talk. And normally I would be like, Oh, I don't want to meet a fan. But for some reason, I felt okay about it. And she, I was mentioning her to her something that I was doing with artists and with my clients. And she said, Oh, well, that sounds like polyvagal theory. And turned out polyvagal theory, which is this science matched with this like woo woo acting technique. And I finally had concrete language and a system for healing within performance. So it was truly I can't stress how revolutionary learning polyvagal theory was, and applying it to myself, my own body and my students. The theory is called polyvagal theory. And it's actually, the other phrase for is the science of safety. So it's love, I love the science of finding safety in your body, in your mind, in your environment. And it's non pathologizing. So it's not it's basically it's saying that all behaviors, even curious behaviors, like things that would normally be feel very, like maybe icky or bad, like alcoholism, like cutting like anorexia, many things that many artists struggle with. You look at it through the lens of this is simply the nervous system looking for safety. It's looking for regulation. And I just love to that. Yeah. So it has to do with connection, and learning how to connect back into oneself. Is that correct? Absolutely. It says that. There's three nervous system states that are very different circuits. They're like completely different circuits. And we only have one circuit that is a circuit that even allows connection, okay? So that when we aren't connected or don't feel connected, it's not a choice. It's an unconscious processing system that happens to us for our own safety. And that we don't actually have any control over that. But we do have control to shift our system to find connection again. Once we're triggered So as Angel AMI, I teach about the five bodies, the mental body, the emotional body, the physical body, spiritual body, an energetic body. So the first system that you were just talking about, would most likely connect to the mental body. But then your techniques probably, I'm just an I don't know what they they then probably move everyone into the energetic body, which is connected to that subconscious ways. So actually, each nervous system has all of those in them, they just have different variations. Although our ability to have connection, our ability to think our ability to feel diminishes as we go down something called the polyvagal. Ladder. So I'll explain that like this. We all have iPhones, I have an iPhone, right? And it has so much stuff in it, it has Facebook, it has you can do your taxes, you can do everything in it. It's meant for 2022, this phone is meant for right now. When we get triggered, it would be the equivalent of your phone going poof, and turning into a Nokia from 1992. Okay, yeah, still, it's still phone, but it has less functioning. Okay. And if you got triggered again into the freeze response, it would be as if the Nokia went poof, and went into your grandma's rotary phone from the 70s. You're completely talking my language? Yeah, I'm loving this too. I feel like there's a mental emotional physical component to every single one of them. So for example, the mental component of fight or flight is that actually the prefrontal cortex turns off, right. So you have brain fog, you have less ability to think you can still think but your attention is actually biologically wired for fleeing from an animal. So your mind is going somewhere else. Does that make sense? So there's no, it's as Ruby completely? Do you know, what's crazy, is I have a whole slew of psychiatrists as clients. And I've actually taught them about freeze. I love that you just said freeze, flight and freeze, right? The biggest problem is that if you if you don't have a trauma therapist, or a psychiatrist, a psychiatrist that knows about polyphonic vagal theory, no offense, but run a run. Because for the reason that for so many years, like for example, like traumatized, Army vets would come back, and they would be in something called dorsal which is a freeze response. And all of a sudden, in therapy, they would explode into these huge feelings. And the therapist would be like, I'm failing, this is terrible. This is not going right. Through polyvagal theory, it shows you that it's an ladder of safety. So if the only path out of freeze is fight or flight, right, that's actually the path of safety. And it also happens to actors. If you're feeling shut down. If you're feeling sad, and you're in a slight freeze response. The way out of that is actually to feel something pretty big. So if I have a client that cries out of nowhere, I'm not like, oh my god, I'm a bad teacher. I'm saying, Oh, my God, their body is finding safety and I need to lead them to their safe and social response. But that is why without polyvagal theory, I believe that psychiatry therapy is very dangerous. Okay, so I have a quick little angel AMI story. So So I have a 14 and a half year old daughter, and when she was around a 910 she she's definitely a feeler because she feels kinetically in our body. And we had we were in Florida, and we went to an aquarium that had the dolphin that lost her fin and this Oh, the movie? Yeah, there's a movie and we went and we saw her. And I have to think of her name, but I know what you're talking about. Okay, thank you. Thank you. I'll see if I can come up with the name. And so you could go in and watch the movie about her story. And it was actually I'm like a biography like real footage when they rescued her. And Julia, that's my daughter. She stood up, we walked out of the theater and she completely passed out completely, like total vagal, vagus nerve completely on the ground. This was like the third time. And I found that her, her she would have this reaction to extreme situations. But when you asked her, Are you like, for the emotional component? Are you okay? She couldn't articulate what happened to her like she's not feeling sad or angry. Or it was just something innate in her wish she took on the energy and would just completely shut down and pass out. Wow, wow. Yeah. Is Yeah, that actually happens to a lot of people like on airplanes. Where they completely I'm trying to remember the technical name for it, but it's actually like not freezing. It's, it's like a super freeze. It's actually the way that an animal would freeze. When a predator gets it in its mouth. The animal will just play dead. Yes, but it's not actually playing dead. It's actually doing what your daughter did, which is to completely freeze. Exactly. And so she's Ovid. She's my biological child. So there, there's some innate ability to take on other people's or animals, feelings or traumas. So she would like, now I understand it, but she would sit there and actually take it on like she was the dolphin, and then completely pass out. Yeah, and she's not the only one. So I'll little gingersnaps listen, if you if some adults can really relate with us in so and if you have children that just go into this complete freeze mode. I have a client that told me when she had to put our cat down, she legit laid on the vet's floor like on our back flat like like this. It's not funny, but just laid there and complete trauma that they had to go in the next room and put the cat down. Yeah, because she just completely started to pass out. Yeah, you're onto something here. There's a whole beautiful niche, because we were talking before we came on Lila, how this help could help people across the board. Like even beyond actresses and actors. Oh, absolutely. The real secret to all the work is that it's really applicable to everything. I mean, it can help your relationships. It's you know it. But the nice thing about working on it through art is that there is a play element, and it can make it safer. Working on trauma is really tough. When you're not singing or play acting, it's much easier or in muscle music, I just added an exercise component. So I'm working on it through other ways than just talking through, you know, talk therapy can be great for some people. But for other people, it's extremely distressing. And actually trying out a song, discovering your trauma, through singing or through acting, or through your own craft that you love can be safer for your system. And you can get more curious about where you're stuck, because you're doing it through play. That's so beautiful. So connection through music is definitely a soul connection. And in the soul, it the soul houses all the positive emotions, and the ego houses all the negative. So when you're taking someone into, like the base of their soul, they're able to fully step through that fear of vulnerability, because there really is no fear connected to the soul, and really released that out of the physical. Yeah, that's beautiful root. parts work, they would call that self energy. And so many times clients don't have access to that self energy. And so often a coach or a therapist can be act as that energy for them while they're developing it for themselves. Beautiful, yeah, love it. So let's talk a little bit more about this polyvagal theory. So is it relate? So here's my question, I guess, is it related to that vagal vagus nerve. So what happened to your daughter so Polly bagels so that means multi multi vagus nerve, so there's the ventral vagal nerve which looks like a big tree You that goes it connects to your whole body basically. And it's, it's a regulator. So it's the brake to your system. Like if, if your spinal cord and your brain are like putting on the gas, then it slows everything down. It keeps your heart rate from being if you took away your vagus nerve, your heart would race like 100 B PMS. And then behind that vagus nerve, there's something called the dorsal vagal nerve. So polyvagal theory is around the idea that when you freeze your dorsal vagus nerve, which is an older reptilian response, clamps down, so it's like, it's like, normally our brake is just you know, when you're driving, you're putting on your brake a little bit. This is when the brake slams down. Got it. And this is when passing out this is when you you're just like, you feel frozen. You're like, I just need to lie in bed. I can't even think or move or I just feel like sluggish or tired. I'm like, it's a response. It's a it's a trauma response to not to severely feeling not safe. Yeah. And so people can sort of exist in that state for long period can have I absolutely flavors of it for sure. You can exist in a complete you can't can't be, you can't update me, right. But yeah, and it's actually extremely unhealthy for so it developed in reptiles and fish. And one deep question I had was, you know, if the body is here for us to keep us alive, why would it do this terrible thing to us? Like This really sucks, like, shutting down, freezing is unfun, and it doesn't ever help my life. So why, how is this adaptive? And the reason that it's not that it's not so helpful is that in reptiles, and fish think about like if they were doing their little fishy reptile thing. And then a predator came and they froze, they would be okay for about 20 minutes or more. A reptile can be underwater and not need oxygen for a long time. But think about how long we can hold our breath underwater. Humans are so oxygen dependent, that when we get frozen, we start to lose function. And we can think we can't function. The best way to think about the freeze responses. You know, when you're a kid and like you wrap a rubber band around your finger and it turns blue. Or you sleep on an arm and then all of a sudden you're like it doesn't work. And it's it's numb. So what do people say when they're frozen? They're feeling they feel numb. So actually, the freeze response is your body not getting enough oxygen. So the way out of it is very similar the way that we would treat a limb when it's frozen or numb. You are you don't like immediately walk on it or you'll fall you start to pad it and say you start to gently do gentle movements. You just wake it up, hey, body wake up. And then of course, there's parts of us that are like, am I ever going to use this arm again? And then of course, it always comes back, you know? So that's the freeze response. Yeah. I can't believe I'm going to do this. We have to pause. I have the worst pain in my stomach. Oh, no, I don't. I'm so sorry, Ruby. This happened? Oh my god, I'm gonna remove myself and come back. Don't worry. So you then went and learned all this for yourself? Yeah, yeah. But and also to help me to you know, but what I love about it is that it just told me total sense. So many things I had experienced as an actor that I was curious about, that didn't ever make sense. would make sense underneath this system. Right? Right. So it was like a breath of fresh air to finally have because I'm a why person and I need science to believe things. I'm not religious, and I wouldn't say really spiritual. So I need facts. And I need I need to know how systems work. I need to know why. And so it's been really fun to apply it to performing. Yeah. Especially leadership and performing like why does Why does charisma work? Why is what is the science behind that and why is it effective or not effective on any given night? So, yeah, that's amazing. So most of the people that like your clients that come Are they are they looking to get past like the audition process to the work or does it incorporate using Get in the work as well, if that makes Oh yeah, it's all pervasive. So whether you're wanting to audition, or you're wanting to just have a better relationship to your songwriting, or making music. Yeah, it's all pervasive. So like, I recently had a client who's, you know, she's a coach herself, she coaches people in fear. And is a singer songwriter, and as a recording artist, but had some trauma, like as a woman in, in the industry, and her therapy was not helping her or working for her. So she was looking for another system to think about healing parts that were destroyed, really distressed and didn't feel safe. I have IBS. And one of the things that they talk about a lot is the vagus nerve in terms of like, because IBS is basically like, you know, we don't really know what's wrong with you, like, you don't have any of the big scary diseases. But obviously, you're affected by something, you know, with your digestion, your pain, you know, whatever. And I found that a lot of the stuff that's addressing it is around like the vagus nerve, the vagus nerve. Want me to tell you a little about that. So, so the vagus nerve controls pretty much everything from the head and actually goes into your face. So the biggest thing that it does, it lights up your face, but it also and it also has a heart connection. But actually, what controls everything, sub diaphragmatic is the dorsal vagus nerve that we were just talking about. So when it's triggered is when it causes a lot of disruption. But when you're in safe and social, is when it actually works to help you digest food. So if you're feeling anxiety, or you're feeling slightly shut down, or there's a part of you that's frozen, your digestion is not going to work, it's gonna be compromised. So IBS, they're starting to link IBS, with anxiety with being shut down. So it's really fascinating and really logical that someone who has trauma is way more likely to develop IBS than than someone else. Right? Yeah, it's gonna be interesting. You know, I also I teach meditation. And because one of the things that they always say to you like is, well, if we don't know what's wrong with you, right, like, it has to be stress, you know, just that Blanket. Blanket term is so much more complex than that, and then sort of go out and, you know, find your own solution to the problem, you know, I can say definitely helps. It's also just like, come on, there's got to be well, that and that's what's so great about polyvagal theory, it's an actual system with actual tools to shift from one state to another. Exactly, which is half the time. You can even get it from a therapist. So yeah, I'm huge on like, concrete tools. Absolutely. So we're in my late 20s, I decided I had a bad breakup. And I was like, either I'm gonna become an alcoholic or a Zen monk and I went for the ladder. So I lived at a Zen meditation center. that's run by a woman named Joan Halifax, in Santa Fe, New Mexico called rupiah. And so I lived there and meditated, probably like, at least two to five hours a day. And it was so intense and beautiful. But something that, that it was interesting how much I would be sitting there in the Zendo, meditating, and all of a sudden, this huge feeling would come up, and I would cry. You know, and everyone's, like, really nice about it, but they were meditating too. But the the conclusion I had after being a meditator for almost my entire 20s, being super into Buddhist meditation and philosophy, and I love all of it. But it doesn't account for trauma healing. And so it's wonderful for resetting the nervous system and finding safety in the body. But it's not. It wasn't for me and my system. It wasn't enough. It I needed a bigger system, I needed a system of healing that was more active. And a major part of polyvagal theory is actually that a lot of trauma healing has to do with activation as well as calming. So, a lot of times we overemphasize the calming for example. Like if you were in fight or flight, your instinct, if Someone was having a panic attack panic attack, you would probably say, you know, want them to calm down or like, say breathe. But that's actually the worst thing you can do for someone having a panic attack, because they need to metabolize the sympathetic energy first. So the night the thing you could do to help someone having a panic attack is have them push on a wall as hard as they can. Wow. Or do a plank. So really activate their whole body, metabolize the hormones that are in their body, and then have them meditate. And then have them calm, and then have them restore. So yeah, so it's a little counterintuitive. Hi, Amy. How are you feeling? I'm so sorry. Don't be sorry. Yeah, I'm just I'm having some issues. I'm so sorry. Don't even worry about it. I was legit in my head going, Okay. This is like what I teach people. Do you push through the pain and totally like, like, just not honor yourself, right? Or do you just say something and just remove yourself, and I just chose to honor myself. A mantra is the show does not have to go on. Crazy energetically that this happened? Yeah. I've never know. It's about I'm back. It's almost like do we just leave it in? I don't know. I? I'm alright with it. Honestly, it's such a good model. People need models for leadership that honors their body. Yeah, yeah, I we don't we don't, we can't be what we can't see. So it's so beautiful. And performers do this on stage. When I make mistakes on stage. I point them out. And the audience loves it. And they think I'm like, hilarious, but I'm like, I'm actually just pointing out and you're is everybody? Yeah. So I was in a spin class. And I don't know 20 Something people. And I started to, I actually had to go the bathroom. So I had to pee, everybody. Because as humans, we pee. And I was like, I can't go this whole spin class have an impedance bad. And so I actually got up in, went to the bathroom. And when I came back, she started to holler. Angel, Amy just got off her bike to take a big shit. No lie. And but you know what? Rubia in that moment, I realized that I mastered embarrassment. Like, I wasn't embarrassed. I was like, whether I had a pee, poop, puke, whatever the case fit, go fix. None of it matters because I honored myself. I got off. Something didn't feel right to me. And I needed to go address it. And I came back when I was ready. And I think we have to teach we should be teaching children I have to tell you, when I convinced that, like, I would be sitting there. Oh my god, I have to go to the bathroom. And I would tell myself like no one's going to notice no one's gonna so you just basically played out my worst. Like, everybody's gonna you're gonna walk back in and they're gonna say like, oh my god, you just took a huge hit. Right? So my, my, my team. So this is the inner child work. Lila talked about her least favorite bird. My inner teen, Rob, like, if I was a teen, I would have gotten off the bike and just left. Like I would just packed everything up and just said, Screw this and never gone back ever. And it made me realize that when I connected in that moment that my inner teen for that particular situation was was healed. Because I didn't care. I was like, Yeah, I was brave enough to get off my bike and come back. And as humans, we all poop pee puke. Right, exactly. Yeah. So I mean, that's actually instructions on my app for the workouts. I say, if a big feel even a feeling comes up a big anger, sadness, and you're overwhelmed, stop, lie down on the floor and talk to the part of you that is hurting and needs your attention. It's literally like a little child being like, I'm hurt. Yeah, sad. And we bypass these tiny little parts of us until we get so sick or addicted, or like internally mentally ill because we're constantly disrespecting the parts of us that are asking one to be out of pain. And, and to be healed. Like if there was a little kid, would you ever do that to a child? Like call them out in a class for having to go to the bathroom? Like what is. And I think that's the other part of this. That's like the other part that needs to be held as like. This doesn't just happen with acting teachers. It happens with a rubbings, instructors and trauma informed fitness is something I'm really, really into right now. Because that is literally abuse to embarrass, embarrass someone for their own pain. Like what what are you? What are you teaching? Here? I feel like I attracted it in. So that I do see it that way. Ruby, absolutely. But in that moment, she gave me a gift. Because I was like, wow, this is how far I've come that I don't have an adverse reaction to her her words right now and calling me out. But I'm choosing to look at it that way. Everyone around using everyone around me wanted to just die for me. Yeah. And I'm like, No, I am good. She She just showed me that like that. I've zero embarrassment. And that's how you know you're free, right? Yeah, like freedom you can't make you can't make fun of something you can't shame. You can't shame a part that doesn't think it's something like, if I was like, your I was like, You're a purple elephant. You'd be like, I'm not offended. I'm not a purple elephant. But if I always like, you don't work hard enough. Yes, people like how does that resonate? You can't hurt a part that doesn't believe that it's true. So yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, I'm getting like, right. In that moment. I knew I didn't just go take a big shed. Like I legit just had a pee like it right. And we all do all these things. But you know what, I also think that it's, there's a realness to where we all forget, we're human. Like, we all do these things, right? And so we all need to, we all would respect most of us would respect someone else, if they left the bike to go take care of themselves in combat. But the thing that we do as humans is we beat ourselves up for then going to do the thing that we wish we could go do. And imagine. So if emotions are the pissing and shedding of feeling, like, think about like, when you cry, when you're angry? It comes out of you. Yeah. And then you're done with it. It's like peeing and pooping. It's like, there's nothing shameful or wrong about feeling things or emoting things. But like, think about holding back, like emotional constipation that we have. Like, what if you held your poop in for like, 20 years, your body would be really sick, very same thing with your feelings. You hold a feeling in for 20 years, you're gonna start getting sick. And it comes back to those five bodies again, right? For this, this physical body houses the emotional body. So yeah. And then sooner or later, it makes you physically sick, right? Physically, yeah, it can start as your emotional experience. Eventually, it's your back is killing you or your hip goes out, or I loved myself more in that moment than everybody else in that room. But I couldn't. I can't authentically love all those strangers, authentically. Unless I love myself first. I'm getting choked up. Yeah. So I really love strangers, Ruby. And so this is just an example of like, choosing you doesn't make you a bad person. Right? And so I authentically want to like treat everybody it has a faith in Buddhism, that healing yourself is healing the whole universe in one they say in one instant. Oh, and that's it. Yeah. Chills. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. So beautiful. So this happened for a reason today and I'm back everybody would agree it's such a great what happened is a great example for all performers, which I call like, I in my work, I call it a call out so Do you call yourself out? You say, Yes, this is happening. I, I went out what has happened, it shows my whole dress ripped open once and I like tucked it in and I was playing piano and the whole audience is seeing it. I was just like, you know, I do not fit in this dress. And they thought it was really funny. But if it freed me, and it freed them, because now they don't have to look at my rip dress all night and be like, I wonder if she knows about the red dress. And then I don't have to be like, I wonder if they see the red dress, I can focus on my frickin show. So getting in alignment with everything, and everyone in our truth is where connection and performance actually happens. We just feel shame, because that's what we were taught. Right? So it's like accepting it, whatever it is, in the moment. Just I think acceptance is the first, the first place that I choose to go to when something goes wrong, is accept that this is happening in the moment. And there is nothing as humans, we can't handle even the worst things, we can handle it, we just might have to move through it later on in through the those five bodies, but we can handle it. Right? Absolutely. And we can handle it even better together. Yes. So connecting to that audience is, I'm sure one of your first steps right is connection. And with performing. You know, I find before I do talks, I just remind myself that this isn't about me. This is about everyone in the room. So stepping through that fear of vulnerability to show up for them authentically. And when I when I step aside, that's what I call when I step aside, and just own that moment that this is about them. Not me, it takes all that fear away. Like let's just be want to do it. Right. And and so in polyvagal theory, one of the beautiful things you learn is that when you're in fight or flight, we are actually neurologically wired to be more selfish and to think more about ourselves, meaning so when I am knowing knowing that information, I can have more compassion for myself when I'm like, Why do I not care about the audience? Why do I not care about sharing, loving and being connected? And it's like, I can say, Yeah, because I'm in fight or flight, and I need to do certain movements and certain exercises. And I need to use my tools to get back into safe and social so that I have that I have that wiring, I have the system that even allows for connection and allows for the awareness of them and that I'm here to lead other nervous systems into safety. That's beautiful. Right? So how does everyone find you that would like to learn about this muscle music app? So you muscle dash music.com is my main website for coaching. And then the app is called muscle music, which is on iOS right now. It should be up on Google Play either today or tomorrow. So it's the Android version is going to be up very soon. And Instagram is just muscle music. You should be able to find us there. Okay, that's yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. And it's a it's masterclass. It has a nervous system tracking system. So you can track your nervous system day to day. And it also has a new component which is workout. So working out for your nervous system. So workouts for when you're frozen workouts for when you need to dispel sympathetic energy and then workouts for when you're just feeling great and want to push yourself and be unsafe and social. Which is brand new, so I'm still building content for that. But yeah, and some meditations are up there. I'm working on that as well. So it's all in process. And yeah, tell your friends. And it's, I believe deeply in affordable health care to my own detriment. So it's only $5 a month. That's amazing. Wow. So thank you so much, Ruby. And thank you all for listening. We hope that you have found this enlightening. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast and we can be found wherever you get your podcasts Yes, and we're on Instagram at spill the ginger tea podcast. If you have any questions or comments, ideas for future shows you can message us there. So thank you for joining us and until next time, be well